i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize