Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
