Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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