Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
