i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
