Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
