She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
