i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Don't EVER smell your tampon
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize