we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
There are leaves in my underwear?
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