Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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