Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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