At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
