My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Everclear isn't food dammit
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
