Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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