My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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