Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
