I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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