i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
