Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
