it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
