I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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