If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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