I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
