I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
