Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
then he tried to convert me to islam
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
