omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
