why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
