When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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