Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
