I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
