What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
