Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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