let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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