new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
