I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
