Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
