Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
