Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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