New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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