Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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