so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This baby is an asshole
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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