Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
what day is it and did you see me today?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
NoShamevember. You game?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
