You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
