I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize