Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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