He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
