How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
