You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
