please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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