I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
